so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
