How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize