well most of my day revolves around power hour
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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