Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
