The maid of honor just puked.
I look better un-naked...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
