oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
