I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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