Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
