you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
