You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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