Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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