i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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