i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
