so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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