I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
