I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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