i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
