Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize