i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
