is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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