why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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