i already hear my dad disowning me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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