I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
