I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
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I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
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I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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