she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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