Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
