shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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