The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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