If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
