Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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