i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
