Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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