belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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