So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize