I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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