absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize