k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize