the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
