You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
