I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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