As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
