This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
