dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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