Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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