But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
His hands were made for my vagina.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
