I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it glows. i had to have it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
