I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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