he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
