So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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