I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
