how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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