Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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