honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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