dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
