where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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