it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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