do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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