Im at strip club and am horny
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
