I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize