i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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