whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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