Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize