i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
